Adolescence can be a challenging time for young people and their families. Your teenager is going through rapid physical and emotional changes and parents and teenagers must both make changes in their relationships to adjust to this new stage. Teenagers go backwards and forwards between wanting freedom and yet still needing the security of the family. Parents want their children to grow to happy independence, yet fear for their safety as they watch them try their wings. Parents have to cope with the fact that the dreams they have had for their children may not come true – for teenagers have their own dreams. Teenagers have to cope with their parents who often don’t let them do the things they so much want to do. A good relationship with your teenager will help you both to weather the ups and downs.
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See also Parenting Tipsheets Peer pressure, Teenage parties, Teenage depression, Eating disorders, Talking sex with teens, Teenagers and food

Bullying

Bullying is a form of cruelty that affects not just the bullies and victims, but those who witness the behaviour and the distress of the victim.  Bullying is widespread and most commonly found in schools.  A very competitive school environment can contribute to bullying.  Schools have a responsibility to create an environment where children feel safe and in recent years schools have taken steps to develop policies against bullying.  However, children can be bullied anywhere. Bullying can have a very bad effect on the child who is being bullied and on the child who is allowed to go on bullying. Bullying needs to be taken seriously by adults. 
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See also Parenting Tipsheet  Self-esteem

Children working

Most parents are keen for their children to find employment once they have left school, and many are willing for their children to do casual work while they are still at school. Some young people are in full-time work before they are 18 but it is not unusual for children of compulsory school age (under 15 years in the Northern Territory) to be involved in paid work at some point.

Children may work to earn pocket money or because they are interested in a particular activity or career. Sometimes they work because the family needs help with the family business or because it will add to the family income. Sometimes parents think it will help their children be better prepared for work when they are older.

Whatever the age of your child, it can be useful for you to be aware of what the law says about children working and to think about other things that might affect your child. (In the Northern Territory a child is a person under the age of 18 years.)
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See also Parenting Tipsheets Pocket money, When can my child?

Discipline

Discipline is an important part of a child’s upbringing and it continues to be important when they are teenagers. They still need discipline to feel secure and safe while learning to get along with others and to live in society. The best discipline leads to young people learning self-discipline. 

Often there is confusion for parents when ‘discipline’ with ‘physical punishment’ are talked about. They are frequently used to mean the same thing, when in fact they are quite different. As your children grow into adolescents you need to use a different discipline approach from the one you might have used during their childhood. 
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See also Parenting Tipsheet Discipline (0–12)

If my child is gay or lesbian

Most parents don’t think very much about their own children being attracted to the same sex.  Many of us have grown up with values and belief that have been passed down through the generations and we have not really understood, or given much thought to, what ‘homosexuality’ means. To discover that your son or daughter is ‘homosexual’ can be very difficult for parents, for the son or daughter and for others in the family. 

You may have just found out that your son or daughter is gay or lesbian. This guide may give you some understanding of what other parents have experienced and what they found helped them.
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Home alone

Parents at some stage are faced with the dilemma of having to leave their children on their own. "At what age can my children be left at home by themselves?" is a common question asked by many parents. Given that there is no clear direction in the law you need to use your own judgment taking into account your own family circumstances and the age and maturity of your children.

Parents are expected to make reasonable decisions about their children's safety.
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See also Parenting Tipsheet When can my child?

Peer pressure

Peer groups are groups of friends of about the same age. Having a group of friends is one of the most important parts of being a teenager. It is how they learn how to get on in the world and gradually become independent. It is important for parents to understand the value of peer groups for young people. Peer groups can be a very positive influence on your teenager's life. On the other hand, they may influence in a way that is undesirable.  This is a challenge for them and for parents too!
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See also Parenting Tipsheets Living with teens, Teenagers and drugs

Teenage parties

Having parties, being invited to parties and going to parties are all a very important part in the life of a teenager.  Most teenagers look forward to them with great anticipation and excitement; most parents worry about what can go wrong!
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See also Parenting Tipsheets Living with teens, Discipline – Teens, Talking sex with teens

Teenagers and food

Our eating habits today are different from those of a generation ago in so many ways. Fast foods, take aways and eating out are part of this generation's culture.

Parents often worry about whether their teenager is eating well enough. There are many changes during adolescence that can cause changes in eating behaviour. This is a time when your teenager is striving for independence, working out where he fits in the world and 'testing the waters' at home. Choosing friends, clothes, videos and leisure activities are important ways for your teenager to feel he can 'have a say' in his life. Choosing what and how he eats is another way.

There are no simple solutions to improving your teenager's diet. Knowing about 'normal' teenage eating can help put your mind at rest.
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See also Parenting Tipsheets Living with teens, Eating disorders, Teenage depression

Talking sex with teens

It is natural to have concerns about how your son or daughter will handle or be affected by sexual matters.  Parents and teenagers can find it difficult to talk to each other at the best of times but especially so when talking on an emotional topic like sex. 

Most parents have the best of intentions and want to prepare their children for healthy sexual relations but it can be uncomfortable when we feel embarrassed, or our teenagers do not want to talk because they feel self-conscious or confused. We can be faced with many sexual issues that weren’t talked about in our youth. We may feel our values are not the same as those of other people. One of the best things you can do is to make sure your chid has accurate and honest information. 
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See also Parenting Tipsheets Childrens sexual bahaviour, Living with teens

The internet

The Internet is an amazing invention. It is a useful tool that offers opportunities for learning, finding information, fun games, contacting friends by email, shopping and for chatting to others with similar interests.  However, the Internet is an adult environment, with few limits on what is placed on it and where the information may not always be reliable.  As such it can be a dangerous place for children to play. 

Most children at some stage will have some sort of contact with the Internet.  As with other areas of children's lives, parents have a responsibility to provide guidance and to set clear limits. Parents need to understand the impact of the technology and know what their children access on the Internet.
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When can my child?

Sometimes it can be difficult for parents to give correct advice or set limits when they feel uncertain about where they stand. Parents often are unclear about the many laws that impact on their children's lives. This is understandable as there are so many which affect children and young people at different ages and there have been changes in recent years.

Young people are becoming more aware of their legal rights and responsibilities through opportunities such as 'legal studies' at secondary school. This guide does not provide legal advice, but has been written to help parents have a better understanding of some of the laws which affect their children and the young people they care for.
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See also Parenting Tipsheets Home alone, What about parents rights?